Balance… Re-balance… Woosaahhh… waiiittt… Is it really such a thing? Balance…
From self help, spiritual references, psychology books, to self care… we hear a lot of about balance. But what is it really…? What are we hoping to achieve with balance? Of course in an ideal world it is everything being, “utopia” “perfect”, no struggles… everything is going the “right way”. Balance is percieve as everything being evenly weighed out with family matters, work, spirituality, self care… but most importantly, having time for “everything in life”.
I am writing this blog, not to say I have an answer, but more importantly challenge the perception of balance.
It may sound like I am writing in circles but essentially I think balance gives us a perception that may cause use to lose our minds. For example, usually what happens to me is… I will say to myself… “once I have… xyz together than abc will line up right.” Or another “once this is accomplished, than I can have this goal.” When in actuality, life is not a straight line but full of bumps, curves and unexpected drops. I think balance seeks to control life obstacles without acknowledging that challenges are there. But most importantly the perception of balance avoids and does not include challenges that may interfere with what we want.
However it is interesting … As I am developing my business, clientele, making time for friends and having stronger boundaries with things. I would often say to myself, “why am I not balanced?” “I am so off balance”. However, I stopped to reflect on my “balance” and what is it I am really seeking. Is it balance… or something else….
After much thought, its not balance I am after… its being able to live the life I want to have… Be able to go and do! Balance is just a by product but somehow become more of a focus than the life I want to live. I forgot how to live. To do things that make me happy. For me seeking balance was seeking perfection. It stressed me out to the point where nothing I did was “good enough”. I decided to get off the hamster wheel and reevaluate.
On Saturday, I listen to Dr. Lakita Long message on Facebook Live called, “Just Say It, Believe It and Do it: A Leaders Life”. You can listen https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155694959284704&id=763194703.
One of the things I realize is that I have too much on my list to do that I have not made time to live and breathe. I have not prioritize relaxing, vacation. Everything has to do with work, strictness about it that I can not “afford to relax”. Which some may say, that is affecting balance.
I think a lot of it stems from my experience of being a workaholic. Some may have a different reason but ultimately, I was raised “if you don’t work you can’t eat.” This quote may spark other experiences you may have, but I was not raise to relax, take a vacation, spend money wisely etc. A lot of what I know now, about money, relationships, etc I learned in my 30’s. So throwing away the perception of perfection and redefining balance has played an important moment in my life.
Ultimately, there are 2 sides to balance: yin and yang. I think, I got hung up on perfection and not living life to have a peace of mind.
In all, learning not to sweat the small stuff, take it day by day. Opportunities will reveal it self in time. Live, grow, be… explore.
Peace of Mind