No Longer Chasing… #Lent

“How can you be so comfortable knowing you are not living the fullness of your existence and that not bother every minute of your day?” Devon Franklin

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Everyone talks about “chasing dreams”… “chasing purpose…” chasing destiny” but I decided to no longer chase it…  but marry it!

Since 2007ish, I thought my life was tied to being a tenure professor/counselor, owning a home, car, traveling, being married with kids by now. Soooo, none of that has happen. What’s wrong with me, right? Life has a way of disrupting your soul and thoughts to challenge you to question every person, every resource, every thing that hold claims in you, on you and around you to re purpose and redirect where you are suppose to be. But in all of this, I still trust God.

I realize that  my dream is bigger than any position I can ever hold and can not be tied down to one thing. So I decided to trust God in my dark places. In my confusion, believe God will reveal process and provision. For myself, to continuously praise God in all things and never give up or lose hope. Although, there were happy, joyous and fun moments, a lot of those memories are clouded and distorted visions as my life got more difficult after 2013.

iQgBdrXSmc_1417758434538The year of 2013 marked a very pivotal year. I lost everything that grounded me. Literally, I had to rebuild the foundation, destroy old roots. Professional and personal relationships were dismantled. Since then, I have not been the same person (#imissher). For example, I do not trust easily. Although social media has soften my relationship edges, I have become a harder person to get to know. Why? Mainly understanding and realizing that the people I love(d) don’t understand my sacrifices. No matter how I said it, word it, just … was….  not…. there. It landed on empty ears and mindless hearts. It is hard for me to “play that off”. I am not that saved to articulate in nice words the hurt. Sometimes I regret sacrificing. I regret it a lot. I would of been better off without a heart to care, because I am still recovering.

Although I am still healing, doesn’t mean I stopped dreaming!

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I remember taking this pic and writing my dream down for Beena Vogue bk in 2015! I thought these ideas were crazy… Services were interesting… but comprehensive fun!

Some of you may know I was a pre-k teacher, K-12 counselor and college/career counselor in a span of over 10 yrs. None of those position fit or was called back to do. This hurts because I always wanted to become a tenure counselor/professor at a community college (#1 dream). I applied, presented, even “knew” the right people, however, that door has never opened. So I prayed to the Lord to reveal to me, whats next for me. Asking this question, you can get any answer. But I hit a point where, I do not need to beg, plead or convince anyone that I am GREAT at what I do.

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As I prayed my heart, hurt, pain and dreams… I prayed my #1 dream to the Lord. I prayed that God would reveal to me people who see my GREATNESS and surround me with people who want to help individuals/families from their SOULS! I asked God to let me be saturated with dream builder. I asked for wisdom to know when to be quiet and to recognize dream killers and seed doubters. If my #1 dream was playing games, I did not want to be dating and committed to it. I did not want to waste anymore time. I wanted to be with creative souls.. creating infinite possibilities no matter the crisis.

As I prayed and meditate on these things, God has revealed direction.

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Since sharing my business some are “happy” but not “happy”. Some have penalized me for not doing “something better”. Some don’t want me to do this at all. My daddy always told me if no opportunity or door will open to you build it yourself. If nobody else chooses me, I most definitely do!!! I want my professionalism and potential to be utilized.

As you can see in my journey, I am not perfect. But I decided to make decisions towards my purpose and healing. No journey is perfect, but with God all things will work out! So as my marriage to purpose continues, I pray you will marry yours too!

You do not have to be perfect to start… JUST START!!!

*Founder of Beena Vogue: http://www.beenavogue.com

*Mary Kay Consultant: http://www.marykay.com/shanina

Mayvenn Hair Distributor: http://www.nina.mayvenn.com

“How can you be so comfortable knowing you are not living the fullness of your existence and that not bother every minute of your day?” Devon Franklin

How long will you be chasing your dreams, purpose and destiny?

When people only see you in your past and not your growth… Part ways…

Marry your Purpose today!

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