Is that your hair?
Oh, you should have your hair more natural by straightening it…
You will never get a job with your hair like that
You should wear something that doesn’t cause so much attention…
Can I touch your hair? (Or just touches it without asking)
Ooh your hair changes too often, I can never recognize you.
Ooh, your so Black today, what is this the 70s?
Your a pretty black … not like the other black people
You look so much better with your hair straight. You should keep it like that.
You shouldn’t stand out so much, you should learn how to blend in
“I don’t hang with dark people…”
You should look more professional…
…and the list goes on…
You may have similar experiences where you are judged before someone ever knows you. Sometimes your identity is different then how someone perceives you. Or their preference is based on what their perception is beauty.
In my experience when you are curvy, its an automatic put down. It’s like your automatically classified as a horrible person. Just reflecting on my journey, this is one of the reasons I gained weight was because I allowed the opinions of others to dictate my beauty. Now I have 39 lbs from to go to be back to my curvy self. I could wear something similar to someone else but get called out because my butt too big or whatever.
However it is very interesting that someone who want curves, or a bigger butt will pay to get one.
Beauty is sooooooo subjective. When you love yourself, your able to love people better.